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Telephone Safety
1) If you aren’t comfortable giving
your phone number out, ask if you can call them. In this day and age of caller ID,
it is very easy for folks to figure out exactly who you are and where you live just by
knowing your phone number. You, the caller, have a couple options to protect yourself:
a)
Disable the Caller ID function - information on doing this can be found in
your phone book under the heading "Safety Tips." By disabling the system, the
person receiving your call will not get a transmission of your phone number on their ID
box.
b) Invest
in a Pre-Paid Calling Card - Make your calls with a prepaid card from a pay phone. DO NOT
use a pre-paid card from your home as your phone number will show up on caller ID.
2) Keep your first couple of calls short. While
you are probably anxious to get to know this person better, keep your first few calls
under 15 minutes each. Use these first few call to "feel out" the other person.
Again, offer information in small doses … get to know each other gradually. As time
goes by, and you begin to feel more comfortable with each other, increase the amount of
time per call.
3) Do not feel like you are insulting the other person
by taking things slowly. A good potential partner will appreciate and encourage you
to take things at a pace comfortable for you. If you feel like things are happening too
fast, tell the other person.
4) Observe the other persons personal
phone rules. This is simple courtesy. Is your potential partner a single mother
with a small child who doesn’t want to be called after 9pm? Has a potential partner
given you a work number, but asks you not to call repeatedly throughout the day? Respect
for other people’s personal phone rules will show that you respect them.
5) When you are comfortable with
each other and ready to set up a Real Time Meeting, share the final important bits of
information about yourselves. Before setting up a place to meet, now is the time,
to share full names, addresses, and work information. While some people may seem nervous
about doing this, remember: this is someone you are going to have an intimate BDSM /
sexual relationship with. Don’t you want to know exactly who you are sharing your
body with?
Also, at this point, you must examine any Red Flags
that may have come up in conversations, and deal with them BEFORE making plans to meet
real time … Does your potential partner:
- Refuse to tell you his/her phone number, full name,
or address?
- Refuse to tell you their place of work?
- Refuse to discuss his/her home life, possible
spouses, significant others, etc.?
- Ignore your wishes regarding personal phone rules?
- Push you for information you are not ready to reveal?
- Push you to meet real time, even if you are not
ready?
- Tell you safewords, safety precautions, and meeting
in public are not necessary?
If anything….ANYTHING….make you suspicious, nervous, or just
doesn’t "feel right", DO NOT proceed with a real time meeting. At
this point, you have two options:
a) Continue talking and try to
figure out what is wrong.
b) End the relationship.
Remember….if things are not working out, it is far better to be honest and up
front about what you are feeling and end a relationship than to string someone along and
keep getting their hopes up.
All material Copyright Mistress Ren and LesVoiles. Please do not reproduce
without permission.
Page Updated
08/27/05
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